Best Laid Plans

"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change."

~ Stephen Hawking ~

I like it when things have an order to them. It's nice to know that you can trust X food not to have dairy in it or Y bus to show up around when it says it will. Of course, random and haphazard travel through the developing world throws all of this into chaos, but at least it's chaos when I expect it, disorganization by design. I'm happy to cast caution into the wind when the time calls for it, but when it comes to scheduling my emotional well-being I like to have just a teensy bit more control over the situation. So when my pre-determined itinerary suddenly shifted last month and all of my carefully laid plans fell into disarray, my psyche struggled to adjust. Before taking off on my "crazy" journey to Sri Lanka and Geneva, it should come as no shock to anyone that I spent nearly 7 months putting this whole exit strategy into place. Sudden upheaval? More like meticulously carved plan of action!

But shit happens. Plans change, and we're forced to adapt quickly or end up suffering for our inability to do so. On the road I'm usually ready for these kinds of split-second changes and am actually pretty good about keeping others calm in the process. While flying from Lima to Iquitos in Peru, for instance, my flight was turned around when it was revealed that buzzards from a nearby jungle trash heap had invaded the local airspace, making it so even the great and powerful Sully couldn't land that bucket of bolts. Did I panic? No, I got on the phone and in broken Spanish somehow managed to switch the reservations of not only myself but two of my travel companions to the afternoon flight and got them to waive the charges. And when I got stranded on a Panamanian island for four hours with no water or bathroom after our guide misunderstood the phrase "pick us up in forty minutes," did I lose my cool? No, me and my ex-girlfriend took to making sandals and undergarments out of palm leaves which we stripped off the trees. I weave a mean frond-cross-hatch, by the by.

But my latest game changer was different - it wasn't a slight setback or a change of expectation. I was coming back early without laying the normal groundwork for my arrival, leaving me unsure of job, home, or future. Pepper in some of the oh so normal events that recently occurred in my life, such as turning 30, becoming an uncle, spending three months in Sri Lankan solitude, etc., and my brain was a lil bit frazzled. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow became I need this on my desk yesterday, overpriced falafel replaced by impossible rent costs. Waking up after the five month dream was rough, and I'm only just now really coming out of my sleepy haze.

And my leading theory as to why I'm only just now getting back to normal? Because right around now was my originally scheduled return time. My last hurrah in St. Thomas this past weekend was to be my final adventure on the road, signalling the body to stop instinctively slapping the snooze alarm on my adult life and to step out into the light of day. Maybe I'm not as flexible as I thought after all...given a month of adjustment time, I basically just waited until the world caught up to my expectations. Granted, existential readjustment is more complex than weaving a brassiere, but only slightly. Those straps are tricky!

On my way back through the Atlanta airport from the impossibly sunny Caribbean, I thought about all the little steps it was finally time to take in adjusting back into a normal-ish life. Figuring that the process was really only starting, I decided to make a list of what needed to get done to help organize my thoughts. I spent weeks and weeks making packing lists and preparations to travel abroad, but spent exactly 12 hours throwing everything into a bag and racing back home...how could I possibly have expected that to work? Proud of myself for the admission, I allowed for one final trip to Chick-Fil-A to let my brain flood those serotonin receptors and positively reinforce all the wonderful progress I was making as a normal functioning human, but I would deny myself fries in order to stay healthy.

But you know what? Dude behind the counter tossed some fries in there anyway. I signaled to him that I didn't pay for them, but he waved me off..."oh don't worry about it. Enjoy them!" So to celebrate my return to responsible decision making, I failed to cross off even the first item on my newly drafted list.

Oh well. Best laid plans, as they say.