It's that time of year again. Time to shake off your hangover, brush the cigarette ash from your favorite jeans and pray that whatever it is that's on your nice shoes can be cleaned up in time for the work week. The post-New Years recovery is seldom an easy one and almost always involves a laundry list of ways you plan to improve yourself in the coming year. These resolutions, while well intentioned, seldom make it past Passover and almost never survive the summer months. Will we ever learn to stop making them and just resolve to be better people on balance?
No. And me being no exception, I've made a few new "fix up Eric" resolutions for the coming year. I figure through public announcement I can be held to task for their completion by my literally dozens of followers, and I fully expect your disappointment and anger should I falter along the way.
Resolution 1 - In 2011, I will do 10,000 pushups. This is all part of the get fit plan that I've had since I was a fat 5th grader, but I got a good feeling about this year. On average, I will need to do 50 pushups on each of 200 days throughout the year, which seems entirely doable (barring shouder injury or drunkenness).
Resolution 2 - Keep forcing myself to try new things, even if they fail 90% of the time. No matter how sick I get from random foods or how f-d my career ends up from my various life choices, I pledge to continue making ridiculously misguided decisions in the interests of exploring the world around me. Recent failures, such as my "steamboat dinner" set back may make me question why I branch out so widely, but you apparently learn as much from failure as you do success. This makes me a veritable professor emiertus when it comes to ordering at restaurants. This steamboat of which I speak consisted of two pots of boiling soup and a tray of raw seafood which I was trusted to cook in said soup - unable to know how long to actually cook seafood though, I ended up with a few mouthfuls of raw squid and an upset tummy. Worth it? Perhaps, if only for the story.
Resolution 3 - Convince my friends to come visit me in Europe. Whilst traveling alone, I realized that I frigging hate traveling alone. I will thus be working on various attempts to get people to visit me in Europe while I spend the next three months in Geneva. Brush off that Italian phrasebook, break out your worst French accent and get a flak jacket for Kosovo - it's EuroTrip 2011 with yours most true!
Resolution 4 - Find my purpose in life. Ok, so usually this takes a long time and just sneaks up on you when you least expect it, but I've been doing all kindsa soul searching and what not so I want to keep this going into the new year. Whether it means getting a new job or a new tattoo, stumbling upon true love or stumbling home from the bar, I'm hoping to have it all figured out by the stroke of midnight on Jan. 1, 2012. I figure if the world is going to end that year anyway, I might as well have my shit together when I have to face the Mayan gods in the underworld. Best part is, this is a really grandiose goal so if I fail this one but succeed in any of the others, I can call the list a win and not feel like I failed myself in the new year. Then I can be the guy who has no direction but can do a shitload of pushups.
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