Your Money's No Good Here

Easiest way to remember that your pin code is 1 - 1

At one time, ATMs were magical devices that helped rich people stop having to go to the drive-through at their local S&L every time they needed more money for lithium to cope with the markets crashing. They inspired magical commercials of well-dressed white travelers in far away lands without a hope of rescue finding their path home with the help of the local children, dragging the white folk to a machine that they themselves could not access because they had no funds. Access, ability and fortune at your finger tips.  In theory, anyways.

Sri Lankan ATMs apparently don't want me to get any of my filthy Western money into their streams of commerce. When I first got to town, I picked up some cash at the airport by changing over US dollars, so I was able to survive for a few weeks without hitting the cash machine. After blowing most of my stash on roti and Sprite, I finally trekked down the road to the local Nation's Trust Bank outlet to stock up. I was inspired by the Trust in the name and though to myself, "what an easy experience this will be. I am assured to have it all go well and there shall not be bumps in the road."

I responded swiftly when the machine suggested I insert my card into it, and just as swiftly it spat the card back out. "Cannot complete transaction." Being a bit of a dimwit I tried it again, only to receive the same response. Curious.

So down the street I went, trying to find another ATM to get my much-needed roti money. This time the card went into the machine, and I was able to execute all the proper actions to produce cash. I heard the machines shuffling my paper, and then it emitted a beeping noise that aroused in me what I shall describe as "sheer terror." ATMs didn't make noises like this, to my knowledge. Dying water fowl perhaps, but not ATMs. My card was spat back out and the entire screen went dark save a "transaction cannot be completed" message flashing in green on the black canvas.

Curious indeed. Undeterred but confidence shaken I continued down the road yet further and after a panicked 10 minute stroll I encountered another ATM. This time braced for rejection with fingers crossed, I basically closed my eyes and prayed as I asked the bank gods for my own money. Apparently that goat I sacrificed outside the vault reached the heavens and my roti funds were delivered in full. I was still a bit shaken up from the experience, but at least I had the ability to buy a snack. Rupee-rupee bills yaaaall!

This is a pretty common phenomenon around Sri Lanka. Recently on my trip to Kandy, I actually visited 6 banks before finding an ATM that would accept my card, each time concerned that my bank had shut me off like an angry parent taking away my allowance because I forgot to take the trash out. Or didn't want to. Or lit it on fire, whatever, I don't remember why I lost my allowance, ok? The good news is I've steeled myself to the let down now and I don't fear that I'll be stuck here without any means of getting home. I do however fear that in the short term, I won't have roti money. And that my friends would be unacceptable.